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fourth of april, two thousand and sixteen.

10:05

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yes, i am writing this at ten am in the morning and i actually did sleep last night.

i woke up at like 05:48 this morning to go to a 9am lecture that i haven't been to in months because i'm in a mood of REFORM AND CHANGE AND BETTER LIFE DECISIONS and shit but my lecturer didn't show up so i feel like life's making fun of me.

i'm writing this in my campus library right now after two hours of doing literally fuck all.

all my assignments were due last week friday (april 1st) and to be honest i've never been so organised in my university life ever. i got an essay due friday done on the monday and everything else was done a day beforehand. like dAMN.

now i'm pretty bored with uni so i'm actually attending my lectures since i've no assignments due till like never (jk, i don't even know whens my next deadlines at).

so yeah.

in more recent news i wrote a short story for an english module due friday and i decided to make it personal and write it on my recent breakup. what i didn't know was that i actually had to read it in front of the entire tutorial class and dear jesus christ, i was not prepared. that was probably one of my most bittersweet (more bitter) experiences of two thousand and sixteen. you know that horrible sinking feeling when you start reading something feeling hella anxious and nervous and your voice starts quivering and you stutter and you hop over words like no tomorrow and feel like the titanic sinking into impending doom? yeah. that. basically. it was horrible. i stopped reading after three deprived, pitiful lines and had to stop for 10 seconds (probably invoking a wtf was that reaction from my class) and i looked up and apologized saying that i had no clue we had to read this out in front of everyone and i made it all pretty personal. instead of receiving a (hopeful)(kinda expected) "IT'S OK, YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ IT OUT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO" from the tutor, i got a "IT'S FINE, JUST THINK OF THIS AS HEALING CAMP".

now think...sinking...titanic...impending..doom.....

so after another 960 words all shivered and withered coming from an extremely distraught green haired asian girl, my misery was over and i was nearly on the brink of tears. to be honest the material wasn't that bad. i just wrote about my best friend and i catching up via lunch and sprouted a few over-exaggerated feels here and there. you know, to spice it up but i think it was all too soon. i always get extremely nervous whenever i talk in front of a huge group of people. voice shaking/body shaking, nerves peaking, wanting to cry are all common symptoms i get. it's pretty unfair and one of the reasons why i would like weed to be legalized cuz i need that shit before every presentation i do.

anyway!

that happened.

i'll probably post the short story soon so you guys can ravel more vividly in my horrible experience. there was an up side though! i actually got to mention my blog afterwards. my tutor asked questions after my story and asked if i wrote in general and i was like "i think about writing a lot more than i do write and when i do write it's not stories or poetry or anything. it's like blogposts and spur of the moment feels". i can't believe i said that. can i just say that in my short story i said 'i'm a stereotypical feels english student'. i'm pretty sure my entire class judged me right then and there. god. if there was a way to become 110% disconnected from a tutorial class i never go to, i've pretty much conquered it.
anyway, whatever i said after my short story seemed to connect to the one english student guy that i am head over heels for. well, in a more respected way. whatever he writes and how he presents it literally makes me swoon. i've never appreciated someone elses (that i know irl) work more than i have this guy. plus he's pretty good-looking as well but you know. no. i've also admittedly tried to stalk that guy on facebook but he doesn't have one!! god, just how pretentious is this guy? i kid.

hi there pal

new rat feat le sister. he's the friendliest little guy ever and he's a tight hybrid of two different kinds of rat (which i have completely forgotten from what the pet store worker told me..).
it's my first rat and you can kinda tell the differences with hamsters and rats (i'm a hamster devotee as you guys probably noticed. i had a gerbil before but he's long gone now).

rat's don't make their own little bed with cotton. i threw some fluffs and tuffs of cotton in his cage and he just let it sit there. rats are also a lot more agile and adventurous. this little guy just climbs everywhere and he's so friendly. he's not the most aesthetic looking little thing but i'm way passed that stage for pets and now i just want something that interacts with me affectionately whenever i go home from school/work (god, i sound lonely).
i have also belovedly named him sylvester.

DUOCHROMEEE

so i've been going on splurges of buying whatever the hell i want (as i always do. god, i spoil myself too much) . i went on an irish website that is exclusively irish for selling goods (adverts.ie) and found a seller that sold wax seals stuff. i'm hopelessly in love with the vintageness of letter writing and all things relating so i just had to get it. it was ten bucks as well which is hella cheap. i sent him payment via letter and decided to write his address in calligraphy for practice. in exchange, he sweetly added a small gift of a almadine garnet (which, from what i read, is a gem that helps sexual urges. thanks sam)

the wax sticks are pretty high quality and the stamp itself looks like a celtic design? correct me if i'm wrong. very nice though, it's actually something i'd use.

LOOK AT ITS FEEEEEET Q

nihonese

// o.o/

i also ordered an alpaca online (it only cost me like four bucks with delivery i think). i ordered one just to see the quality of the alpaca and honestly i'm really impressed. i was expecting it to be lower quality (but bigger in size) however i'm really happy with my purchase (confirming a bulk order soon..). the fur was is pretty soft and there's really no faults with it.

i also put sesame on top of it because how can i not? it looks like a pegasus for her.